Halfway through your whistle you realize your error. What you thought was
an attractive member of the opposite sex is in reality a zombie ninja.
You both draw your weapons.
In the heat of the moment you realize you have drawn your Fig Newton. You
throw it at the zombie ninja, striking true. However zombie ninjas are vulnerable to cookies, not fruit and cake so
it has no effect.
This time you draw your sword. An epic battle ensues. Steel
rings off steel and sparks fly from the fury of the heated sword clashes.
You stab at the zombie ninja, but it dodges left. It swings it's killer
ninja sword at your face grazing your nose. As you smell your own blood your anger rises to a level formerly unbeknownst
to you. You strike at the zombie ninja faster and faster until your own actions are too fast for you to comprehend anymore.
Still you go faster and faster.
Turns out the zombie ninja was just toying with you. It expertly dodges and blocks
every attack. You try your best and it just laughs. It lets you stab it. It grabs your sword by the blade
and pulls it away from you, tossing it far out of your reach.
Suddenly you remember the rock you tripped on. You reach in your pocket
and take it out. It shines mysteriously. "Funny...it didn't do that before," you think. Throwing it as hard
as you can you pray that the rock that bested you will be strong enough to defeat this formidable foe. Plus the mysterious
shine can't hurt right?
The rock bounces harmlessly off the zombie's eyeball. Turns out the shine was a sunflake
you didn't see landing on it. The zombie casually walks up and kills you because it is a ninja and you're not,
so there wasn't any hope to begin with. As a matter of fact if this had been the plight you would never have even come
out into the woods and mountains because there's no hope against a zombie ninja.
THE END?
Yeah it is
-If you think you're enough of a goody-twelve-shoes to go to heaven choose option
1
-If you were on Santa's naughty list more often than his nice list choose option
2
